If I were the Woman at the Well

Have you ever tried inserting yourself into a Bible story? I love who Jesus is to the woman at the well in John 4. Sometimes I feel a little bit like her. I decided to creatively re-write it, as if I were her, and God spoke so powerfully to me through it. I pray God speaks to you too. 

I’m a foreigner living in a land that’s not home. And I’m ashamed. Some would call me a “slut” - it’s safe to say that I don’t have healthy relationships with men. Because of that I tend to like to be alone. It’s shameful to be with lots of people - they know what I’ve done, but they don’t know who I am. So, as usual, I went to the well to get my water when no one else would be there. As I approached the well my heart skipped a beat a little. There was a man there. Not too handsome, but he looked pretty kind. Attempting to avoid eye-contact I started to draw water. But he spoke to me. “Give me a drink,” his voice gently said. When I looked up I could see he was a Jew. They don’t like people like me. I looked puzzled, I’m sure, as I asked “Why are you asking me for a drink? You’re a Jew, you don’t like Samaritans. Plus you’re a man, asking me, a woman, for a drink?” He looked me in the eye, and he said “ God has more for you than you know. If you believed all God has for you, and if you knew who I was, you’d ask me to give you a drink of living water. And I would give it to you.” I wasn’t really sure what he was getting at. All he had was a small bag. How was he gonna get water from the well. So I asked, “How, and where, are you gonna get this Living Water? What do you mean by Living Water anyway? Jacob, our spiritual forefather, made this well for us. He used it himself, and he blessed it. Are you saying you’re better than him?” The man didn’t seem to get angry, though I was almost angry, and probably a little offensive. He looked in my eyes again, like he could see my soul. 

“Everybody who drinks this water will be thirsty again…” Somehow I knew he meant more than just the water in the well. He meant the things in my soul. The things I was drinking, using to quench the loneliness inside me. He continued, “ But whoever drinks that water that I will give will never be thirsty again. The ache in his should will be satisfied. What’s more, that water will spring out of him. It’ll be more than he can contain - it’ll spill over to eternal life.” The light in his eyes was irresistible. I wanted it. I wanted that soul quenching water. “Oh sir, give me that water,” I hesitated, “I don’t wanna have to keep getting water.” It sounded like I meant physical water, but my deep heart was crying out for the soul quenching water. Again, he looked me in the eye. 

“Go, get your husband, and then come back here.” My heart dropped. You know that feeling when someone has found you out? That’s what I felt. “Oh no,” I thought, “Anything but this issue - my issue with men.” Trying to avoid the topic, I said, “I don’t have a husband.” He smiled just a little, there was a surprising gentleness in it, and what he said next took my breathe away. ‘You’re right. You don't have a husband, you’ve had many relationships with men, unhealthy ones that tie you down. And even now the man that fills your heart isn’t your husband.” How did he know?! He must have some prophetic abilities. I wanted to know a prophet’s perspective on the age old cultural question: Where should we worship God? In church? In nature? In our homes? So I asked him, “Good sir, you seem to be a prophet. Can you answer the question of where to worship. I wanna praise God in the ‘right’ way.” He looked at me and he said, “Good ma’m, these questions are of the past. A new age has dawned. True worshippers of God don’t need a specific place, they can worship in Spirit and Truth. God is a being os Spirit. So we have to worship him in that way - in Spirit and in Truth - in honesty- no hiding your true soul from him. Lay it all on the table.” I was amazed, and kind of horrified. “I know everything will be clear when God completes everything in the Promised One.” His smiled broadened, as his eyes were filled with only truth, and he said, “It’s already finished. I am the One.” My heart stopped. My heart soared. I think my jaw must have dropped to the ground. 

Then suddenly a group of young men appeared, looking so strangely at me. They looked at the man, the Messiah. He was their teacher; they were his people. I felt a little awkward, they didn’t say anything. I quickly moved away from the well. I started walking quickly, then running back to the town. When I got to town I started telling everyone, “Guys! Come with me. Come see this man who knew my heart. He knew all I ever did. I think he is the one in whom God is going to complete Salvation.” Somehow the way he knew my heart was deep and pure and true, and somehow it didn’t scare me. Somehow there was no shame in the way he looked at me. It was like no other man had ever looked at me. He didn’t want anything from me. He just loved me. 

I kept telling the testimony. People came with me and we went back to the well, because they believed what I said. When we reached the well he started talking about his eternal life again. Everyone was mesmerized, like I had been at first. After a little while a few members of my town spoke up, “Please stay with me, in my home, stay in our town. We want to hear more.” His disciples eyes widened and they looked disapprovingly at each other. But the Messiah, he smiled, and he said “Of course, let’s go.” And he came to our town and he stayed with us, he dwelt with us, ate with us, taught us. Many in my town believed he was indeed the eternal life giver. When he left they said to me, “At first we believed him because of your testimony. Now we’ve seen it ourselves. We know his words are true ‘cause we heard them. We know that he is the Savior made manifest in our world.” 

As for me, I’ve never before been a part of something so amazing. This Messiah changed my whole town and somehow he used me, the town “slut,” to tell the news to everyone. That light in his eyes changed me. He took my shame, and from here on I’m gonna worship him - in Spirit and in Truth. To the town I was someone to look away from, someone to be ashamed of. But he turned it around. He made me the beautiful bearer of good news. In my mess and in my sin he used me, and he loved me. Here we are, my whole town, worshipping him in Spirit and Truth. The harvest was plentiful and the laborers were few, but he made me a laborer. 

My Cathedral Heart

I remember my first trip to Europe, when I entered the hundreds of year old cathedrals. As soon as I entered the first thing that I was forced to do, was lift up my eyes. The architecture structure drew my eyes upward instantly. I knew this was designed to facilitate worship.

Psalm 63 goes something like this: I looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory, and I knew your steadfast love was better than life.

But right before that he says, "My soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." So I have this image, of the Psalmist, now he is in this dry and weary place, and he's looking back at his time in the sanctuary. It was there that he realized God's love was better than life, but now he's out in the dry and lonely world, and he's seeing who this God really is. He is the one whom he will praise forever, and in His name, the Psalmist will lift his hands.

I feel like this is my life. I've lived most all of my life in the sanctuary, in the cathedral. It was there that I knew that God's steadfast love was better than life. It was there that he made his dwelling in me.

But now I'm in the dry and weary land, and this time I'm not in the Cathedral, but my own heart has become the Cathedral. 

God has made his dwelling among man, among us. He has called me his daughter, and is dwelling in me.

I've been reading Ephesians with my dear friend Anna, on Skype each week. My take home lesson one week was to meditate daily on Ephesians 3: 14-21. I rewrote 16-19 in this way:

"With the walls of your heart strengthened like the butresses of a cathedral, Christ will dwell in you. His voice revirbirating through all the corners of your heart. It'll be a depth and truth of love more real than anything. May his dwelling be seen by you for what it is. Wider than the farthest reaches of the earth, longer than the oceans, and higher that the ceiling of your cathedral heart. And deeper, deeper than any well or overflowing river. Know. Know this love, let it fill you past your understanding. Don't even try to grasp it, just let it fill you and spill over out of you."

Ghana Trip

I helped to lead a trip of 8 Japanese students, and 2 of my fellow Navigators staff to Ghana. We spent two weeks in Kumasi and Busua, visiting the Ghana Navigators and Volunteering at Teach on the Beach. This was an amazing trip for me because we were able to volunteer at Teach on the Beach because of the connections that I had made there when I traveled to Ghana 3 years prior, as a university student. It was exciting to see many of the same friends and to experience the Ghanaian culture for a second time. I loved Seeing our students out of their comfort zones as they experienced the culture of being late, the strange food, lack of running water, and different form of self expression. We did so many different activities and traveled to many beautiful and memorable places with great friends. I wanted to share a few of the photos that Mark Rood (my boss) took on this trip, as well as a few of my own. Enjoy these pieces and stories of the trip.

Our trip was delayed by almost 2 full days. We left Tokyo one day later than planned, and a night in Ethiopia and hours in the Accra airport, we arrived in Kumasi, Ghana after 70 hours of travel! Thankfully this rough start was not an indicator of the whole trip! 

Each night in Kumasi we ate dinner together, often at this guest house where we stayed.  This evening we were joined by our Ghana Navigators friends and leaders John (bottom left corner) and Eli (top right corner). John shared with us for hours after dinner about the cultural, religious, and social realities of Ghana. He is so wise!

With the Ghana Navigators students we visited this beautiful lake where we saw locals fishing, and many children came out to play with us, which was lots of fun, especially for all the boys who gave piggy back rides, and taught them silly Japanese games. 

We had a really fun Japanese Culture night with the Ghana Navigators students! 

It was so fun to teach Origami, bowing, calligraphy etc. They loved it and we all enjoyed laughing together! 

Yvonne, with Maina, and me! Yvonne especially made us feel really welcome! 

She made these earrings, and gave them as a gift to me and Maina! 

I love mine and wear them so much! 

This is Eli! Eli graduated this May and is doing her year of National service that all University graduates must complete. 

She chose to do her year working with the Navigators, discipling and developing students at Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology (KNUST for short ;) ). Eli is incredibly gentle, organized, welcoming, and her laugh made me feel so free. I felt like she was my "co-mother" of our group!

Mark shared his testimony with the Ghana Navigators students and 

challenged them to live their lives for more than just money, but instead for a greater and more lasting purpose! 

From Kumasi we traveled by a small bus to Cape Coast. As we traveled we passed many funerals, because Saturday is funeral in Ghana. Everyone was beautiful dressed in black and red. Here one funeral is carrying the casket out of the village to the burial ground down the main road. 

From Kumasi, we went to Cape Coast. We enjoyed a festival and some tourist sights in Cape Coast. 

This is our whole gang (minus Mark, who took the photo) at the Cape Coast Slave Castle. 

(Left to Right: Ryuichi, Jun Jun, Daiki, Naotaka, me, Maina, Eli (Ghana Navigators staff), Kei, Amano, Keisuke, Brandon) 

The Slave castle was where British slave traders held thousands of slaves in dark dudgeons. above the dungeons were these bright white stairs, large living quarters, and even churches. It was horrific. 

This is Red Red, my favorite Ghanian food. It's beans

and fried plantains, served with chicken! 

In Cape Coast we visited Kakum National Park. 

There we walk along rope bridges 300 meters high 

in the tree tops. 

After a few days in Cape Coast we went to Busua, in the Western Region. I had traveled to Busua 3 years ago when I went to Ghana with my university class. At that time I had the dream of bringing Japanese students to Busua and Teach on the Beach. It was so exciting to see that dream come true!

Welcome to Teach on the Beach! This amazing home is an education center for the Busua community. The 1st floor is a big class room and the 2nd floor is housing for the staff and for volunteers like us. Every afternoon kids come for tutoring after school, and at 7pm they come again to the house for NewsHour. They watch news for 30 minutes and then have 30 minutes of discussion! 

A group of kids from Teach on the Beach took us on a walking tour of the neighboring village. They welcomed us like new family members! We all felt so loved! One of the fun parts for us at Teach on the Beach was being Japanese teachers. Since we came during their summer break there were no homework lessons to help with so we got to create our own lessons. We taught some English, through Japanese folktales, and then we taught Japanese language and culture. 

For these kids it was their first time to meet people from Asia!

This is my dear sister Tina. I met her 3 years ago and we stayed in touch a little bit through Facebook, but didn't talk much. This trip we got to talk together for 2 or 3 hours, sharing life, struggles, and most of all talking about the faithfulness of God, and our faith! It was lovely!

One of countless sunsets in Ghana! 

This the view looking out from Teach on the Beach (opposite the beach side). They have a paved basketball court that the community uses to play basketball, and even skateboard! 

The gorgeous, noticeably bright green building of Teach on the Beach. 

at high tide, the waves reach that cement foundation. Let's do all we can to prevent sea levels from rising even more. 

It was wonderful to go to Ghana again, and to experience it with these fantastic Tokyo BEST friends. I loved it! Missing Ghana and the slower pace of life already! Leading was such a totally different experience from being a member of the trip, but it taught me so much about cross cultural partnership, and working together. 

Thank you KNUST Navs, and Teach on the Beach for making us feel SO Welcome! :) 

The Secret to The Revolution

A few months ago my roommate gave me this little journal, "The Planner Only For Revolutionary Projects" with the subtitle that reads "112 blank pages waiting for you" and so I waited. I waited to fill the pages with ideas of social justice, world peace, and freedom. Over the past months God's been revealing the true secret to revolution (or at least my revolution), and it is a little unexpected...

It was about 3 years ago, in my college dorm room that I first watched Brene Brown's Power of Vulnerability TED Talk. I remember tears in my eyes, thinking, "If I really apply these lessons, my life will be compelled to change." Simultaneously, I remember thinking the terrible, but brutally honest thought "Well, I will deal with that later." I guess that you could say I had a chronic avoidance of telling the whole truth. I was a master at feigning vulnerability. I told just enough so that it seemed like I was being honest. There were difficult things that I was willing to share with those close to me, but there was a sinking feeling in my stomach when I thought about "those things" that I did not want to share. That deep brokenness and darkness that we all have but never want to admit. (As you read this I'm sure you are thinking of something too). These are the things that we can cover up in day-to-day life but, here is the reality... without realizing it we are living with out being truly known and  believing lies about ourselves that we have internalized.

I knew these truths and I knew that I had to be able to be completely honest with someone. Thankfully, I have those friends. But here is the scary truth, I was not even honest with myself about my own darkness. I had masked it as "not a big deal".

In Japan, I live in a culture of hidden realities, secrets, unspoken norms, and a deep fear of being exposed. Without even knowing it I had been living the same way for most of my life.I knew that I was forgiven by God, but I still had some fear of being exposed.

In mid-December the walls came crashing down due to my own mistakes (that I won't publish on the internet but am willing to share with you personally, if you would like to know). I had come to a pinch. At that moment I realized I could not avoid this vulnerability anymore. I wrote in my journal a list of my options: lie, tell a half truth and pretend that it is enough, or run away entirely. It seemed my only morally upright choice was to tell the whole truth, and OWN my vulnerability and shame. 

Courage is to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. 

This began a journey of fighting with God about whether or not I really had to face vulnerability, whether or not I was ready to share with my whole heart. The conclusion: It is time to own my brokenness, and boldly share my darkness with others.

Vulnerability is not just sharing your darkness with lots of people. It is accepting God's shaping hand to expose you, change you, and cover you with life altering grace. It is telling the right people. 

This is the point where a beautiful truth gives freedom. God already knows all my brokenness and darkness. He knows it so fully and yet he chooses to still love me. It is because He knows my brokenness fully that his love has power! If someone loves you but does not know the truth about you, is it really love? But if they only know the truth about you, and do not love you in that, it is devastating. So we must have both truth and love. This is the most profoundly beautiful thing in the world.

If I want to be truly loved by my teammates, family, boyfriend, and friends then I must let them see the real me. Brene Brown says it so well when she says:

“In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.”

So I have begun, begun sharing the real me. (Again, this does not mean sharing with everyone, it means sharing with the right people). Every time, without fail, since I have owned this vulnerability and shared it with others, they reply by opening up about their own brokenness. They have said things like "Me too..." and "I don't have the same experience, but this is my brokenness". Vulnerability begets vulnerability. 

I write all this, not because I am a vulnerability expert, but because as much as I fight against it (I still am, by the way), I believe that is the key to truly living. I believe this is the key to true love. I believe this is the key to deep community. Vulnerability unlocks what we have hidden in the darkness, it brings it to the light, and takes away the power that it holds over us. What lies in our darkness holds power over us and allows us to live in fear and shame, but if we bring it into the light then we have power over it.

Courage is to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. Will you tell your story?